To:  Mallon Snyder Law Firm, 107 North Adams Street, Rockville, MD  20850
From:  Hope Tilley, 19656 Mill School Road, Guysville, OH  45735
Date:  29 December 2009 (Revised for internet publication, 7 February 2010
RE:  Christmas Gift Intended for David C. Tilley of Craig 15" LCD Flat Screen Television

CC:  Tilley family, Rockville, MD and Montgomery County officials, Metropolitan Police Department, Kenwood Golf and Country Club, The Reverend Canon Stephen Huber, Washington National Cathedral, Friends and family back home in Ohio, etc.

To Whom It May Concern:

Good morning!  My name is Hope Tilley.  I am--legally--a resident of the State of Ohio.  I reside in the southeastern region of that state, near the confluence of the Hocking with the Ohio River,
making my home in the country in a rural area near to West Virginia and of a more Appalachian than eastern or mid-western character generally associated with Ohio and Ohioans.

Be that as it may and of whatever significance, my legal physical address, at this time, is 19656 Mill School Road, Guysville, Ohio 45735.

Currently, I am unreachable at that address, however, because my mail is being held for me there while I am out of state.  I am writing to you at this time from the District of Columbia, the city of Washington, where I am visiting friends and family, as well as conducting business pursuant to my Ohio-based company, OhioValleyConnect.

By Way of Introduction

By way of introduction, I should tell you a little more about who I am, so that the plain and simple manner of my diction in this memorandum does not take you by surprise.  Otherwise, now that I have revealed to you in the paragraph above something about my background and my whereabouts, you might be inclined to think that I was just a "dumb hillbilly," and misunderstand the cleverness with which I can turn a phrase as a pretentious attempt to impress a DC-area law firm on this, my first trip to my nation's capital.





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